79. Priorities and Making Space for Those Deep Desires
My grandma recently shared one of those GEMs of wisdom that I’ll treasure forever. It was so simple, but helped me think even deeper about how I can create priorities in a way that feels empowering and exciting.
This episode is for you if you are someone who is constantly trying to do all the things or if you are feeling a call to do less (but in a way that feels exciting, expansive and oh-so-intentional!).
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Episode Transcript
[00:00:00]
You're listening to episode 79 of With Heart and Wonder. I'm so, so delighted that you are here. And I want to give you a little glimpse into what this episode is all about. This one is the one, where we are talking about that temptation to do all of the things and to do them, all right now. This episode is for you. If you are somebody who feels that tug that pull to make all of the changes and to do them all at the same time. I am one of these people. I find myself pulled in multiple directions at the same time, excited by the possibilities. And also, a little bit impatient. I'm somebody who, if there's something that can be fixed. I want to fix it right now.
I want to make all of the changes I want to show up in a way, where I am at my best.
And the thing that has tripped me up for so long and still trips me up [00:02:00] sometimes. Is really that in order to show up as my best self. In the longterm to make that really sustainable. I truly cannot do all of the things, because that is a recipe for burnout. It's a recipe for all of these feelings of shame, of guilt, of disappointment, of that meeting these unrealistic expectations that I set for myself.
Okay, so let's take a moment here. I want to circle back to a conversation here on the podcast that was had a few months ago in episode 72. If you listened and it's the one where my sister came on the podcast and we shared our reflections after going to a talk with Elizabeth Gilbert. It's a really good episode, if you haven't listened already, I truly recommend it.
It's gotten so much amazing feedback, so many juicy and delicious takeaways. But there's one thing that Liz Gilbert shared, that has been this constant, thought on a loop that I've had ever since we heard her speak back in April. And she said, you can't have boundaries if you don't have priorities.
We're going to say it again. You can't have boundaries. If you don't have priorities.
This simple little phrase has truly been walking with me through life these past few months. My default mode is, is taking on too much, wanting to do all of the things. I've been asking myself this question of what are my priorities, in all areas of my life.
I've truly [00:04:00] been sitting with a question of how can I do less?
But do those things with so much intention and care and presence. To show up for those things with my whole self.
And it's been this interesting act of trying to feel into a sense of balance of structure. As well as room to play and flow. Now if you are like me and your default mode is wanting to do all the things. Fixing and changing anything that is within your power and control. And maybe you too have felt that sense of exhaustion or burnout or shame or disappointment.
When you can't do it all and keep going at that pace.
I want this to be an invitation for you today. To get curious. About how you might do things differently, how you might start to explore priorities. Doing less.
So the tool that I have been using these past few months has truly been, is trying to narrow my scope. Whether I'm looking at some of the changes that I'm trying to make in relationship to my relationship with self and my healing. Whether I'm looking at things that I'm doing in my coaching practice and my business.
Is really this question of like,
what are the one to three things? That I can focus on. And everything else becomes for later. And I find for myself, it's really helpful to have some kind of a parameter of time around this. I like to work in seasons, the things that I'm focusing on. You know, for the summer, [00:06:00] there were things that I was focusing on for the winter or the spring season. And there will be things that I'll choose to focus on for the fall.
That season ends up creating this container for me.
To find a focus.
And to let everything else, it's not even let everything else go, but it's just releasing the grip on those other things.
So that's the tool that I've been playing with, and this is truly such a work in progress for me. But I wanted to share with you this story. Something that my grandmother said when I visited her this past weekend.
My grandma was sitting in her rocking chair. The light pouring in through the windows, plants all around her in her kind of natural habitat, which is my grandma is one of those people who is just so deeply connected with the outdoors. She knows all of the butterflies, all of the plants, all of the invasive species.
It's definitely her zone of genius. And we were talking about our family cottage
and some of the projects that needed to be addressed there. Things that needed to be maintained. And she was telling us, and this goes back to when I was much younger. When I was little, my grandparents lived on this country, home outside of Kingston, Ontario, and this little town called Odessa. And they had thisproperty, which we called Skibbereen Castle which sounds very grand. It wasn't necessarily a very large home, but there was a lot of land and these beautiful gardens that they kept.
And it was a historic home. It was one of those homes that would be included, um, on the historic home roundups when they happened. And so it did need a lot of [00:08:00] work. And she shared that every year, her and my grandpa. Would ask this question, what is one thing that needs to happen for the property? And what is one thing that we want to do?
Now when she shared that this was their exercise. It was just one of those moments where like, I was like, oh, of course. It deeply resonated. And the more that I sat with this little gem of wisdom that she gave, which at the time I was applying to my own home. I was thinking about it in relationship to the family cottage.
Uh, my grandparents no longer live on this little Oasis that they used to. It's been a little while since they moved away from Skibbereen.
But the more, I started to think about this story. The more, I started to think about how it related back to the same question that I've been sitting with around priorities. And there's a particular thread here that I really want to pull out. Into the sunny light.
One of the things that I find so often happens. Whether it's for me, or people that I work with in a coaching container. Or even just friends and family in my life. This comes up in conversations.
There's so many things. That we feel a need to tackle.
And what happens when we have so many things that are coming our way. So many things that need to happen. Is we often lose sight of the things that we want to do.
The things that create a sparkle in our heart. And the things that [00:10:00] glimmer with this sense of curiosity, creativity of playfulness. Which isn't to say that we can't bring that type of approach to the things that we have to do.
But I'm really motivated by this question of how do we create more space for the things that we want to do?
Those things that have been stirring inside of us and keep being put off because there's other things we feel like we have to do.
What I loved about the way that my grandma presented this. Is that it creates room for both. It creates room for both the things that need to happen. Because there are things in our lives that need tending to. And it also still creates room for the things that we really want.
But there's something my grandma shared that I want to adapt as well.
And she said that. The project that they picked as the need to happen. Would then dictate how much money was left over for the thing that they wanted to do.
I think the thing that stands out here for me, Is that there was still room. For that want to happen. In our own lives, we have limited resources. We have only so much time or energy or money. But the question that I am fascinated with right now is how do we make room for both those things that need to happen and the ones that we want to happen.
I share this story with you today. As an example of one of the ways that you can start to think about priorities. And this just happened a few days ago. And so I have [00:12:00] yet to play with this method that my grandma gifted me.
I'm still feeling into the ways of prioritizing that feel the best for me. But one thing that I do know deep inside of my heart is that setting priorities, is one of the most loving and compassionate things that we can do for ourselves.
What I have experienced as I set priorities, is this feeling of relief, a feeling of clarity of purpose of presence. That there is an intention behind my actions. And it's almost too, like, there is this beautiful sense of groundedness and that it becomes a whole lot easier to make decisions. Because I can ground back in to those priorities.
And there also is just a whole lot less expectation that I'm feeling. Or that sense of unease and upset when I'm not following through on all of the things.
Because I know that I'm focusing on the things that really matter in this particular season.
Life is always going to keep giving us new things to add to our plate.
It then becomes in my mind so deeply vital, that we are creating the space and the time for the things that really want to emerge from within us, otherwise we could be putting those things off forever. We could just keep moving them to later and later and later.
I invite you to consider. The next season that is ahead. I'm here smack [00:14:00] dab in the middle of summer. But I'm already starting to gently percolate on this question as it comes to the fall season. What might my priorities be? What's the thing that needs to happen, and what's the thing that I deeply want to bring attention to?
And you can keep your eyes and ears peeled as well.
I'm putting together a workshop. That I'll be sharing more about soon. In terms of finding your seasonal flow for the fall season, if you're in the Northern hemisphere.
There'll be more information coming your way soon about that. And the best way to stay in the loop is to get on my email list if you aren't already. And you can go to meghanjohnston.com. Or just send me a DM on Instagram @meghanljohnston and I'll send you the link to sign up for the newsletter.
If this episode has inspired you to get a little bit clear on your own priorities I would truly love to hear from you. I love to know what priorities are bubbling up to the surface for you. And how you're thinking about creating space, not just for the things that you need to do, but the ones that you want to do as well.
I'm already excited for the next chance we get to spend time together until then, keep living With Heart and Wonder.