103. More Thoughts on Purpose + What To Focus On Instead
In this solo episode, I circle back to the theme of purpose.
Instead of focusing on purpose, I invite you to get curious about how you can become more you! And expand your horizons and vision of what’s possible in the process.
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GET IN TOUCH
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Episode Transcript
Meghan: [00:00:00] Welcome to episode 103 of With Heart and Wonder.
I really, really hope that you loved our last episode with my friend Adriana. If you missed that one episode 102, we were [00:01:00] talking all about how chasing your purpose might be the thing that is keeping you stuck. I really loved hearing from those of you who sent in a message sharing about how this episode really landed with you in this moment in time. And I wanted in today's episode to sort of expand on, on one place. Where, if we're not chasing our purpose we might bring our focus. And how bringing our focus to this other place might actually be really empowering and open up possibilities, expand like the horizons of what we think is achievable. So that is my plan for us today.
Um, And if you didn't listen to the episode with Adriana, I highly recommend it. It is such a beautiful episode. So many gems of wisdom. [00:02:00] And, and I don't want to kind of just like resay things that we already said in that episode. But I want to add to it. And one of the things that we talked about in that episode was this idea of Treating our purpose as a destination. Rather than being on the journey. There's a way in which. We assume that if we find our purpose, that like golden key is finally going to unlock. Everything it is that we're looking for in life.
Like it's the magic bullet. And there's a way in which we, I think are convinced that if we find our purpose, we're going to feel more like ourselves. But there are so many other ways that we can feel more like ourselves. That instead of focusing on this destination of finding a purpose, we can focus on a sustained commitment. To our own growth. Our own development. [00:03:00] And really that flourishing of our best self. We can be in that journey of fulfillment and self-discovery.
So a few months ago, I shared in episode 97. Two things to get clear on. If you're feeling stuck. I again, if you missed that episode or maybe you're new to the podcast, you can always go back and check it out. I go into more detail there, but the two things that I talked about. To get clear on if you're feeling stuck are, where am I? And where do I want to be?
And in that episode, we talk about how, you know, if you're planning a journey, if you're planning an adventure, you need these two coordinates on a map to be able. To get where you want to go. You have to know where you're starting from and you have to know where you want to go. Now another way that we could [00:04:00] frame those questions are like, who am I.
In this present moment, like. What do I care about? What do I value? What are my guests? And how do I want to feel? How is it that I want to be. Feeling and showing up in the world. And what is it that I want to be expanding into?
And so if we're thinking about like this, where am I and where do I want to be?
Or who am I, and how do I want to feel. There's a third question. That can act as the bridge between the two. And that's the question I want to focus on today. And that's the question that quite honestly, I've been really sitting with lately in my own journey of self discovery. And that third question is. Who do I need to become? In order to move closer to my desires and the life that I imagined for myself. Who do I need to become? Now I don't mean. [00:05:00] Becoming someone you're not. Uh, is a hundred percent not what I mean, but what I mean is really going on that inner expedition. Of discovering, like how is it that I can support the very best version of me? That inner expedition of like, How can I be more me? How can I be who I need to become in order to rise? To the challenges, the opportunities, the possibilities that are coming my way. How can you be more?
You.
How can you own your gifts? How can you share your talents? How can you shine as yourself? Like where are you holding yourself back?
Because if we're thinking about. Going on any journey? That is fulfilling. That is infused with [00:06:00] curiosity. Compassion. We're going to need this internal reckoning.
Of aware, we're feeling called to grow.
So, let me give you some examples. Of places where you could be holding yourself back of places.
Where there may be an opportunity to cultivate a different relationship with yourself.
On the journey of your own growth and development.
And I want to share these today because quite honestly, I'm going to tell you a secret.
Sometimes I'll have a conversation with somebody who is feeling really pulled to working with me, but they're feeling like they don't really think it makes sense to do a coaching container because they don't know what their goals would be here.
They don't know what they would be working on. This is what I tell them. And I'm going to tell it to you now. Which is. That the secret is. [00:07:00] It actually doesn't matter. What your goals are. It truly. Doesn't matter. Which is not to say. That. That intentional, purposeful commitment to certain areas of life. Isn't powerful because it absolutely is.
If you're, you know, focusing on. On your own relationship with your health and wellbeing, or if you're focusing on your creativity or if you're focusing on your relationships, all of those things are incredible and there's so much. That the seeds we plant there. There's so much beauty that can come from that. But quite honestly, The most inspirational. Growth and transformation that I see when I am working with coaching clients. Isn't about a particular thing. It's not about a promotion at work, even though [00:08:00] that can feel so good.
It's not about, Achieving a certain.
Milestone. What it's really about is the relationship with south.
And that's the fun stuff. Like that's the stuff that like, gosh, it can be so Dante. And that's the stuff that really creates transformation in our lives. And what I mean. By this is things like. The journey. Uh, learning to trust yourself. Trust your intuition instead of overthinking or asking everybody, you know, Their opinion on a certain thing.
It can look like working through tendencies around comparison. And judgment. Working on confidence in yourself.
It can be working on [00:09:00] self honesty. Radical acceptance. Compassion. Following through on your own commitments to yourself, like showing up for you. Or, and here is the one that I have been playing with a lot lately. It can look like better boundaries. We're working through those Oso human tendencies of people pleasing and really focusing on like, what does it mean? Too. Put myself first.
As an act of self-love. What does that look like?
And it's these sorts of things.
Trusting ourselves, working on our confidence, working on our boundaries, our values. Working on acceptance and following through on our commitments. It's these types of things like my gosh, like that's the real treasure. Those are the things that you, [00:10:00] you take with you. And can bring again and again, and again.
To any expedition you take in life.
It's kind of like when you're watching a movie or reading a book about this like great quest. Or this big adventure. Whereas the character is, are all searching for something. It could be a treasure chest, or it could be something else. But there's a way in which, even though the, the. The quest, the adventure is about seeking that certain thing. Like the real gems. Of wisdom.
The real treasure is in how. They discover themselves.
or these things about life. That change, who they are and their perception of the world. And that like that is the thing that's even more impactful than the treasure that they're chasing. It's just like that.
When I look at my own [00:11:00] life right now. Like for me. One of the biggest things. That I need to become a, somebody who feels more empowered with my own boundaries.
All of these things, right. Our start a cyclical. We go through different layers and there's a way in which I've done some amazing work over the last few years on saying no to things. And that can both be true. And there also is this next iteration that I am feeling called to really ground an anchor into. Around boundaries. Not so much from a place of saying no to things, but more about
Really honoring. And being explicit about what my expectations are around things.
It's like, what does it mean to stand in my own power to stand in my own strength? Um, To really really explore, if I have this vision for my life. Who do I need to become [00:12:00] to make that beautiful vision, a reality.
Any goals that we set. You know, I've worked with people where the goal is, the goal that they set is to find their purpose.
The goal is just the vehicle. For becoming more, you. Let me say that again. Any goal that you are working on. You know, it could be. Again, like about relationships, it could be a career milestone. It could be working towards buying your first house or, or feeling more financially independent.
Like any of those goals are truly the vehicle. They're an opportunity.
To go on a journey to become more you.
To broaden the horizons of what feels possible. From
an even more grounded, empowered, strong, compassionate, [00:13:00] confident version of you.
It's not about becoming someone other than who we are. It's about bringing forth the very best of ourselves.
And working through those places where we're holding ourselves back.
I would love to know what this episode. Stirred up inside of you, what questions you're sitting with? What reflections are there? I'd love to know maybe is there one thing, one action you can take.
To gently and compassionately stretch yourself into becoming a little bit more you because my goodness, I so believe this with my all, like all of my heart, all of my being in this chaotic world that we live in and it is chaotic here in 2024.
We really need each other and we really need our talents and our gifts, we need the best versions of [00:14:00] ourselves.
The versions of ourselves that feel like us. And so if you have been chasing, trying to feel more like yourself, if you've been trying to find that. Through this vehicle of like finding your purpose, what happens instead, if you focus less on the purpose. I'm more just on how can I be more me?
And that my friends is where I'll leave us today. Like I said, these are things that I am actively sitting with.And this is kind of like a little photo of my brain at the moment. And the types of thoughts that are swirling around. Uh, I'd love to hear how they land for you. Just a little reminder that we are currently in the summer of 2024. Um, celebrating. It's an extended celebration of the podcast's 100th episode, and I put together a really incredible giveaway.
I would love, [00:15:00] love, love, love to shower you with some incredible gifts, including a free three month coaching container.
As well as some really wonderful gifts from past podcast guests. Um, you'll find all of the information for the giveaway at podcastgiveaway.meghanjohnston.com podcastgiveaway.meghanjohnston.com. And that link will be in the show notes. Until next time. Keep living With Heart and Wonder.